Giggles and Gele: Chronicles of sisterhood

"Men are scum"

And I dey vex.

Apr 23, 2024

Hello, our wonderful newsletter audience. Welcome to Love or Lost, a section in Giggles and Gele where we invite women to share their wonderful, or not so wonderful stories about love, heartbreaks and other relationship issues. Missed out last session of Love or Lost? Don't worry, just check this post

That being said, let's get into today’s issue.

Hiii! It's Dena again. I was complaining about the heat in this horrible country when I got a new mail. I lazily opened it and I saw that it was from a very hot babe that wanted to share her story here. You people know that I work hard to bring you stories, and so I fixed a time for us to meet, and that was that.

But of course, I had to get a lirru preview, just to know the kind of story it is, and I was hooked when she said she'll send me a document. Shege that has documents?? Yes😭

From the way she texted me, I knew she was a soft babe. So guess where I took her to? A soft life date! Yes, that's true😌

Anyways, we didn't waste time and we got into it right away. Her name is Angela, and this is what she has for her Love or Lost session: a shege story.

Bro, why are you making a whole document about it?

I was definitely leaving it alone but after finding out that he somehow completely victimised himself, and i’m sure my feelings for him are dead to some extent, I have to make sure I make this known. The world has to know the truth about my ex.

That doesn’t mean you should make a whole document nau

When the lies unfold, i will need a document to even keep track of them.

So what happened in the first place? How did the breakup happen?

It happened on the 5th of April at 12:44a.m. I kept the time because i almost ran mad lmfaoo‼ 😭

I was trying to keep it together, I checked the time and continued crying. I don’t even know why I kept records of when he decided to up and leave.

According to him, “I’m not feeling it anymore.” This is basically the same thing in that Jess and Reed relationship. What do they mean when they say they aren’t feeling it? No problem, it’s by choice.

But we made a promise to each other, he broke several, by the way,but somehow i still had faith in him. We made a promise to each other that if anyone is thinking of breaking up, the other should be told on time. This is so it ends on mutual and better terms. He had a whole date set for it like it was a wedding and I was never told. As a matter of fact, it was that time he decided to change for better and in my head, i was like “he must have finally understood the document I made about how God wants us to love each other‼ (Looks like she is quite fond of documents) i’m so happy, we’ll actually work out.” Next thing, I knew, “Doana has come to an end.”

Doana was the couple name, abeg don’t cringe, it was cute.

*Dena proceeds to cringe *

Moana + Dory

Moana was a name I was given in secondary school for unfortunate reasons, let’s not go there😞😭😭

Dory is the forgetful fish in Nemo. He was always so forgetful in the beginning so anytime i saw Dory the fish, i’d say “see you!” lmaoo😭

It’s cute innit? I’m good with nicknames normally. Y’all should invite me to name your kids, I give good names, trust.

Why am I joking around here? I don’t know why I do this. Anytime I’m in a hurtful situation or someone i know is in one, I try to make everywhere less gloomy, even though it is. Luckily, I’m funny, argue with my creator ☠️😭

Denna: Your love life is funny too.

Angela: *glares at Najwa from the bottom of her heart*

Was the relationship toxic?

Ehn, you say? VERYYYY! Guy, if not that I loved this boy to my core, I for don give up because my mental health was going DOWN. New insecurities everyday because of man, like say na me create myself.

I sometimes ask God why he let that boy into my life, and I came to realise it was a learning experience. I was so naive. Please, I thought all I needed to do in a relationship was provide all that the other person wanted, and give them all your love. At first, I didn’t think the reciprocation needed to start immediately until it hit me gon gon! 😭

He could not even remember my favorite Disney prince and I don’t shutup about Naveen. I loved the princess and the frog so much, I could go on-

Dena: No be breakup we dey talk about?

*Angela glares again and asks Najwa, again*

Anyways, yes it was toxic, I no dey claim victim because I did wrong too, it was my first relationship, and I knew nothing about relationships. So, it was kinda me learning new things after each argument. Some things were false actually, i’ll get rid of those ones so it doesn’t ruin my next relationship. Him claiming victim is crazy sha, let me not lie. THE LIES I’VE COME ACROSS??? BUHARI’S MANIFESTO NO EVEN REACH‼! 😭

Anyways, bring Buhari back, I don’t understand Tinubu, please and thanks.

Oya, tell us, how was it toxic?

It all started in July. I started noticing he became rather…. Agressive? Is that the word? I think so. He’d say some mean things and I actually did have anger issues around that time, so I would withdraw from the whole situation and not text till he was ready to apologise. But mumu me, even if he didn't apologise, I go still talk to am.😭

Having seen a lot of toxic relationships, I thought it was a normal thing for men. NA LIE O. Good men dey‼ MEN MOUNT‼ I just dey deceive myself na why.

Dena: Like my own man😌🤭

Angela:

Ehen so, he later told me that he didn’t like my anger issues cause I liked asking certain questions for relationship growth and to better myself. I asked what he didn’t like and would like me to change? He said my anger issues. See me, delulu wife-to-be, something that I had been saying was how God made me, piam piam piam, I don fix am, it was fully fixed by September, like say I be car. Of course, continuously controlling it would make it permanent. So I had to stick to controlling it. Okay back to August, out of all the rude things he said, there’s one that shocked me ehn.

Imagine somebody that is saying he loves you, telling you if you killed yourself, he wouldn’t even stop you. As in, he put it like that😭

Dena:

Me in my room that day, I was shocked, I say ahn, wait o, let me re-read this thing. True true na wetin e carry him finger type o. I con dey cry. Ask me why I dey cry for man, na so men go dey make us we go dey weep like say tomorrow no dey.

Dena: Speak for yourself please, I have never cried for a man.

Angela: Should I talk, because I know your-

Dena: Oya sorry.

Angela: Back to phonetics, anyways, so this dude, after I got angry, I withdrew from the situation and then i didn’t text. Instead of him to come with an apology, he said “So if I don’t text you, you can’t text?” See somebody that just said such a cruel thing‼ I reminded him of it again, guess what his excuse was? That someone else made him angry. Someone else made him angry, but I'm the one that he transferred aggression to?? Story no clear

Sha, I was angry but I let it go because obviously I wanted peace to reign. I that loved the man, although relationship never reach 3 months, and I don dey cry. All that mattered was that I loved him.

Ah. Is there more to it??

Baby calm down, calm down (Rema reference)

I will also add that I was practically begging this man to post me. Why will I send videos to my friends and send even better ones to him, and he would refuse to post? But when I didn’t post, he called it out, please abeg, wetin?

Private life, private life, but you dey post other girls, na me be mumu.

Anyways, September ! That was a fairly good month towards the end.

Oh, did I mention he would always get pissed at me ontop something I can’t control? Normally, i’m a fine girl, so if I pass, people will see fine girl, and they will give me a compliment. Please why are you angry? If I don’t tell you, you will get angry, if Itell you, you will get angry! Shey e fa pa mi ni? (Do you want to kill me??)

I get it, jealousy is a thing. He even said it with his mouth once that he’s a jealous man, in case he reads this and his pride decides to eat him alive because I brought up jealousy, no offence.

Dena: No offence ke??? Offence. Offence like mad.

Angela:

But why was I crying because of something that wasn’t my doing? Na me send them make dem compliment me? I no just grab. If I see a fine lady, me too, I go talk, “hey, you’re so pretty”, abi should I have killed myself? Abi should i have put “don't compliment me” on my forehead?? I don’t even have space there, when I'm not Dena.

Dena:Angela??? Wow.

Angela: *aggressively ignores Dena*

Oya September, after all the jealousy things, and arguments because bro could not communicate, na so I turn literature student.

I actually did learn that a safe space has to be created, so I didn’t rush him. But why am I writing paragraphs, and you’ll tell me you’ll try since July till September and i’m still hearing you’ll try?? What sef

Middle of September, he seemed to have become better. Girlfriend day came, I was like finally, he will post me today, but na lie.

Even on my birthday, upon all the pictures I sent, bro posted an old one. I can’t even laugh. I vex but I no talk. Bf day came, see me, I no sleep, I made edits, and posted sharps. That was how some people found out before we planned, about the relationship. June 2nd was when we got together. Even on his birthday, I no rest, I made edit upon edit and spammed my story, God abeg, wetin even do me? Who sent me?

End of September, it started again. Anytime you tell this boy he did something you didn't like, he'll get angry. He got angry when an issue was brought up, he would say that it’s not true and that he's not like that. If someone is telling you this thing plenty times, you no go like self reflect?

Anyways, October came, girlfriend day, boyfriend day, and the birthday thing passed. Time for my man to come home 🤭

See bolt fee. Not me spending up to 40k on gifts because he was coming back from summer holiday. 😭 I went to pick him in a bolt from the airport. What he told me was that he would cover food and that me I should take care of bolt. I don’t know if the food is the lollipop he bought (he couldn’t even remember my favorite one) something I said like hundred times, mumu me, I didn’t want him to feel bad, I nau said I never mentioned. Sha, I'm the one that later covered food and bolt o!

Dena:

I still con spend 11,400 abi 11,800 on beanie, yes the one he wears, and one blue cap, 6500, yes o, that one, even glasses, bracelets, watch, one black cap, one grey, black and orange shoes, one black glasses.

You people think I'm lying?? I have receipts.

I wonder what he even spent in the relationship, is it the first date he was planning that we were gonna split bills? ON FIRST DATE? That's why small thing dey vex me. This Tinubu regime no easy, I fed myself, fed my man, and I did it WILLINGLY, only for lies to come out, why I no go vex??

Fast forward a lirru bit, he developed a habit of yelling at me. See play. When you’re not my dad. Soon, I caught the habit too.

From there, it was just bad. I did try to fix mine though and guess what? He didn’t, you guessed right! Chop knuckle! 🤭

Anyways, I started talking softly o, it definitely was a process though but I DID IT. Ngl, i was at least able to fix a lot of things about myself, that i thought i never could.

Make una chop life o. God would want you to chop life. No, he didn’t send you here to suffer. He only said to walk in His light and that’s chopping life. Yesterday, I even had icecream, haven’t been able to do allat because I was spending on two with money for one. I even ate burger and fries, omo burgers are too nice abeg, and the icecream? I nearly chop the cup 😭💞

With how detailed this is, with dates, if una still talk say i dey try claim victim, no be my own. Baby names don set sef, 3 kids, 2 boys and 1 girl, All 5 of our names were meant to mean the same thing. If una think say I dey lie, i dedicated a whole notebook to this man. Book wey i suppose use read 😭

Ehen, yelling dey. We don pass that one.

Because of the way i couldn’t speak up about anything in the relationship again, I started finding it hard to communicate. You can imagine how that is. One person just started, another person stopped. I tried, it was then I saw that it’s harder than it seems because it depends on if you’ve had someone to talk to like that in the past and if they listened. He wasn’t listening anymore, so I saw no need to speak up. Wrong move though.

You guys please communicate, even if it’s hard, and if they really won’t listen, take it to God, if God says no, please leave the relationship for the sake of your mental health. Everyone, and I mean everyone deserves happiness. Nobody is born a bad person, evil is planted where God is absent. Oya!

I started bottling a lot of anger in me, it eventually did burst, and it was bad! Because it was the last straw.

That particular day, it was in school. The way he talked down on me. Oh my days. I cried in the bathroom that day. Everything just came out. I told him to stop talking to me and to leave me alone. That day, he was yelling at me in love garden, I was so embarrassed so i didn’t answer and told him to leave without me. As he left, you need to see the text he sent 😭

Bro said all my loved ones would leave me on top something he did?? Bro I was so shocked, like who is this guy? This is not the person I loved. 😭

Anyways, after that, I still forgave him as per usual. I loved him, I still do, but Godforbid. After all those lies?? Abeg o, when I no dey mad, I no even dey do man for now. Na God be my man now. Let me focus on myself and enjoy.

Next one, his case on disrespect! Guy, you’re NOT the man of my house. You’re my BOYfriend, bffr. Why are you controlling what I say, and what I wore at some point too?😭

And about the stuff I wore, he was complaining about my crop tops but he met me in crop tops and skirts, be for real ‼ LMFAO! And i actually did stop but I went back eventually because i have a strict dad sef, so that was finally my time to wear crop tops. Like, sorry boo, but i like what i wear and you met me that way. Deal with it.

Guys. This story longg die. I'll have to skip the part where I would serve this boy good that I ordered with my own money, and the part where he accused me of being a lesbian, and part fact that this man would not give me compliments, but he would get angry when other people did. Yes. All that and I stayed.

Najwa: Like a mumu

Angela: Please please, I was in love.

So… The breakup. He did it over text. I told him to come to one balcony thingy in school, and this part is the most embarrassing part. Knees wey suppose be for God, i use am beg man with my fine trouser. I begged for an OPEN RELATIONSHIP.

Najwa: No. No, you didn't.

Angela: I did, unfortunately.

Also I made a whole song to ask him to be my valentine, and the song is mad, maybe i’ll enter music, but first make i chase this degree.

I even took it to God. I said “God, we’ll love as you said in the Bible, please”. I made a prayer playlist for it too. All that because i still wanted to be with him. I must have been mad.

Anyways, that’s on men are scum. Just before I go, i have an advice for the girlies. Once that boy tells you that he's studying software engineering, put your slippers under your armpits and runnn! Especially if he's in Nile. Omo. Run like there's no tomorrow. As if someone is after your life. Don't say I didn’t warn you now.

And that was that, guys. At the end of this whole thing, I had to ask Angela to go and baff her head because whatt?😭✋️

The perks of being Najwa

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