Expressing love??
You will see shege.
Hello, our wonderful newsletter audience. Welcome to Love or Lost, a section in Giggles and Gele where we invite women to share their wonderful, or not so wonderful stories about love, heartbreaks and other relationship issues. This week, Dena went out with four women and they shared their stories. If you missed the last interview session with Dena, check this. Share this newsletter to your girlfriends, grab a popcorn, read through it and let us know what you think in the comments section. Also, don’t forget to subscribe!
Hiiii! It’s Dena again. How’s everybody doing? This week, we’re sharing breakfast stories, so i’m very excited about it, lmaoo.
With great stories come great food. And that was why I decided to carry the women on amala date. At least, if it gets too tense and tears start falling, we’ll use amala to step it down.
For this story, I invited four women. Four beautiful women, I even left the restaurant with a wife🤭
I chose a popular amala restaurant near my house, so I got there first. Not long after I setteled down, Demilade came in.
I am Demilade. I am a student. I'm very spontaneous, I'm an unserious person. I love junks a lot. I love music too.
I'm a wicked woman, but I don't think I'm wicked enough for real, I need higher subscriptions of wickedness and less softness. The color of my gele is pink and black. They're my favorite colors. For the newsletter, Pink is for all the bright things of life, for my softness. Black is for the brewing wickedness that I need to unlock.
I like to think I'm a hopeless romantic, I love loveee. But most times I find myself cringing at love and lovers, and I derive so much joy in hating on them.
Anyways, I decided to continue with Demilade, since the stories are independent, unlike the stories from the last post. So let’s get into breakfast number 1.
Breakfast Serial Number (BSN): 001
Server: Seyi
Served: Demilade.
Estimated Breakfast Time: About one year ago
Breakfast Damage: 8/10
Where did you meet Seyi?
So a friend's friend did a little art exhibition thingy just for his circle of friends and a few other artistes. It was like a friends hangout but with art, their friends had slots to bring plus ones, so my friend took me. That was where I met him. I'm a creative, almost everyone there was a creative. So everyone's talking about their art, their craft, what they do, and things peculiar to creatives. I'm a shy and awkward person, so I stuck by my friend. He came to me and he said "why will you be in a space like this and not try to mix with other people, just try and have fun" in a lighthearted manner, so we got to talking.
Aww, so cue. So what happened after that? How did you people meet again?
After the event, we left in the same Uber. Me, my friend, him, and two other guys. It was a fun ride. They dropped us off at our school gate first. And of course we exchanged contacts. My friend kept whining me "Ahahn, Demilade you don find husband like this" I told them to stop, but deep down, I was blushing.
We talked all the time. We were always texting. He was so sweet. "Are you going to bed now?" "Would you let me know when you're done with today's classes?" "Have you eaten?" "What are you craving?" "Tell me about your day"
He was so obviously interested and invested in me. I'd mention something and he'd be so invested and attentive and follow me up on it, like for updates and stuff. It was so nice.
I was blown away. It was a very exciting era. We had similar interests, we both loved music, we both loved mythology, and so on. At some point we both knew where the whole thing was going. We knew we were going to date, inevitably. We started dating a month after the art exhibition. Wild, yeah? It felt fast to me because I've never gone into a relationship like that. But I liked this guy so much.
Dena: Nawa o.
Demilade: But see ehn, never trust men. Most importantly, never trust or believe in this thing called love and relationship. Fast forward to a month after we started dating, the energy started reducing. All those things he was doing at the beginning all reduced. It was giving “yeah I've gotten this girl, I don't need to work hard anymore.”
Dena: Ah, see hopeless romantic
Demilade: Better leave me. Everyday, the energy got lower. I complained and complained
We took breaks like 3 times, and we kept coming back to each other. I told him it was toxic and I didn't like it, but I loved him too much to do something about it.
He'd go three days without talking to me and he'd come back with "heyy, my wifeeeee", "love of my entire life, I've missed you so much"
Dena: Boya he use to do daku daji.
*collective laughter*
Demilade: Early this year, I decided to start detaching and mentally checking out of the relationship, because omo. Thank God love didn't completely blind my eyes. I figured that this person wasn’t for me, I don't deserve stress. My friend (the one I went to the exhibition with) suggested reaching out to his friends and asking them to talk to him, but I refused. I won't be caught begging people to help me beg man.
Dena: Hot girl like you
Demilade: Do you gett! Fast forward to the day before Valentine's Day, we were talking on phone, and this guy was all sweet and lovey dovey and shit. I'm like, is this boy bipolar?
He asked me what we should do for Valentine's and I said I didn’t know. Well, on the 14th he sent me Uber to his house. He ordered all my favorite food and snacks and drinks, we watched Netflix. Then at night, we went bowling, ice cream, and karaoke. It felt like everything was getting better.
Dena: Aww.
Demilade: Ni kini? Two days later, my friend saw a video of this guy on someone's snap. They were in a club and he was kissing this girl, they were smoking together, grinding on each other in the nastiest and most sinful way possible. He has never touched me like that. I was so surprised.
We texted the next day like normal lovers. I acted like I didn't notice anything, I was pretending, trying to figure out how to confront him. I didn't know what to do. Then he resumed ghosting. So, on the 3rd day of ghosting, I confronted him about the club videos. And this boy twisted it to "yeah you and I have been drifting apart lately, I don't know if I'm overthinking things, I don't know if you feel same" I said "bro, we've been drifted apart for like months now." After long talk, we broke up. I initiated it and he said "yeah, we should"
Dena: omo, men.
Demilade: Abi.. I started crying two days later, that's when it hit me. I honestly don't know why the breakup started affecting me, because I should be happy. That was an exhausting relationship
But, love, y'know.
Dena: eeya
Demilade: And the most hurtful part was this guy opened up the vulnerable and very expressive part of me. When things were going good and he was that sweet guy, he got me out of my shell, made me express and communicate my emotions and needs more, made me feel comfortable with my vulnerability and all. But for what? I'm going back to my locked up and closeted self.
Dena: No o. come to me baby, I would never do that to you.
Demilade: I know, my b.
Do you think you'll be ready to be in another relationship anytime soon?
Eh?? No
Emotionally not ready and available. I like to think I'm healed now, 70%
But when I think of the cycle of meeting people, getting to know each other, talking stage, I get tired in advance. Every single thing about you, they have to start learning. When does the cycle end? Just flings for now.Flings and wickedness, that's my brand right now.
Dena: As you should, my dear.
Demilade: Anytime I think of how he made me change and then hurt me at the long run, I feel so hurt and stupid. If he didn't make me soft, I wouldn't have felt the pain that much, I guess. So, my villain story and era officially started. In conclusion, men ain't shit. If you see a man on the road, kill him. If they ask, tell them I sent you.
Dena: Noted. Thank you for coming my dear, eat amala, use it to step down. You’ll now drink cold malt after that.
Demilade: As I should. Me sef don try.
While Demilade was telling me her story, the rest of the women had joined us and we were ready to get into the next breakfasttt.
BSN: 002
Server: Hunter
Served: Nyx
Estimated Breakfast Time: Two years ago.
Breakfast Damage: 7/10
Hiii, my name is Nyx and I am a hopeless romantic (like if Jane Austen and Kafka had a twin, it would be me.)
I study human physiology because the human body is so beautiful in every way and I am utterly in awe of it. (not in a creepy way)
I am learning how to be very wicked to men because they genuinely deserve nothing but the worst, and my gele will be blood red because na man's blood I wan dye it with.
How did you meet Hunter?
A friend introduced us actually. We were on a shared snap story (can you see the red flags that are screaming already? Meeting a good man on snap? come off it) I was talking to my friend about his last post and my friend just introduced us
Dena: Snapchat men, omo.
So what happened after that? how did you start dating?
It was cute at first. I mean, he isn't in Nigeria so timezones were our biggest issue. We were talking on and off, and we didn't talk much starting off in June, because of personal issues that took me offline, but when I came back we entered a talking stage. He was the first person to hit me up when I came back and we started talking for hours. we both really liked each other before so it was easy talking with him. He asked me to be his girlfriend in September 2022, and that was it.
What now happened? What went wrong?
Omo. One of the major issues was that he knew I didn't like withholding information at all, and he didn't tell me he had a girl best friend until we were two weeks into the relationship.
Dena: Girl best friend? God forbid.
Nyx: Tell me about it. It was really testy because he didn't tell his girl best friend about us either, and let's call her Tessa.
How did you find out she was his best friend?
Nyx: I knew Tessa was his best friend after he posted her on her birthday and I hit her up to wish her happy birthday, and he was like "oh yeah. she is my best friend."
Hit her up? As how?
Hit her up as in I added her snap and when I talked about her, "oh she is pretty, tell her happy birthday." he was like "oh that's my best friend."
Dena: And he didn't tell her about you? He has fagbo.
Nyx: Real. Anyway, she was pissed off when she found out and she didn't talk to me for about two weeks because she was angry he had gotten into another relationship after what happened with his ex.
Dena: She was pissed off on his behalf? Toor
Nyx: I no talk, because he said she was beefing with him too. I can’t believe I didn’t see the red flag on time, omo. I really put a lot of myself into the relationship and it didn't even matter in the end. Anyway, we had issues because he kept hiding his feelings from me because he was scared from his last relationship. Meanwhile Tessa will be giving me "oh you are so lucky, he is a sweet guy. he is the best boyfriend anyone could ever want." Oddly enough, she told me she had a crush on him for four years (FOUR GOOD YEARS O) she would say she was over him, and that she just didn't want him to be taken advantage of because he was always there for her.
It was very crazy because she showed me multiple times she was still very much in love with him and she was always reporting our private conversations back to him. she was the major reason we had issues because I wanted him to put clear boundaries between them and be was like "oh she would never. she is like a sister to me"
I'm guessing it went downhill after that?
Like you wouldn't believe.
Dena: Try me
Nyx: People kept telling me about the things she was saying about me in groups like I wasn't in (and Hunter wasn't in them either) she was being passive aggressive, saying stuff like "yea they make such a good couple lol."
Dena: Was she not loved at home? Ahahn
Nyx: And he wouldn't believe me, because this is the girl he grew up with that was by his side and she wouldn't do shit like that ever, because she is so nice. I didn't want to make it feel like it was an ultimatum to pick between me and her. so I just left it and kept pushing away everything because I didn't want stress and I was writing exams. Then this man said to me one day while I was crying. "it's okay, Nyx. Let me handle it. Tell me everything. give it to me." He broke up with me less than a week later because he couldn't handle my emotions. They were too much for him, and he can't probably help me with our distance
After telling you to give it to him?
Yes, I felt so so stupid. I kept beating myself up afterwards because like if I didn't tell him, nothing would have happened. I know now that it wasn’t my fault, but it was very hard back then. This man will leave me alone in the night (by 3am or so ish) to answer calls from his friends who nearly killed herself because she got scammed and i was the one that gave him everything he used to calm her down. Tessa was coming into my dm begging me not to be angry and that she was telling him not to make the biggest mistake of his life. she was still the person that got pissed at him and went behind my back to tell my best friend we were talking again.
Tessa basically ruined everything. It’s giving The Three Of Us abi what’s the name of that book? Do you think you’re ready for a new relationship?
Me wey don dey another relationship? It happened like early last year. It was really bad, and I often thought I would die, but my boyfriend is genuinely one of the best people i have ever met, because he always makes me feel enough.
Dena: I love that for youu.
Nyx: You will not have caught me in a relationship last year o. Be like say i wan die. But now, can't let a bad ex stop me from finding my husband fr.
Purrrr.
BSN: 003
Server: Potato
Served: Lydia
Estimated Breakfast Time: 5 months 2weeks and 6 days ago.
Breakfast Damage: 5/10
I’m Lydia, I no join wicked women, I’m a lover girl to the core. My durag (I tried to tell her that it’s supposed to gele) is beige, there are 5 but beige is my favorite. My durag represents evidence of the way I loved my former partner, infact evidence dey that I still do.
Okayyy, let’s get into it. How did you meet Potato?
I met her my first year in college, she came to see her course mate who was in the room next to mine one evening, I went to the room to be a trouble maker and saw her. Omoooo, she was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid my eyes on, perfect in every way. She had to be my baby. I took their key and locked all of them in and told them I wouldn’t open the door if the fine girl didn’t give me her number. She gave me the number sha, and that evening I walked her to her hostel, then ran all the way back to mine cause it was dark and the dark terrifies me.
Best in romance. What happened after? How did you people start dating?
Did we date?? I won’t exactly say dating, I’d say we were together.
Omoooo, me that from the moment I say this babe I was already in love kaii!!!, I started texting her and always checking in on her, me the persistent perching fly. One time I even fibbed about been sick so she’s come visit me in my room when I was alone, she did, and we spoke so much, months later sha I confessed I wasn’t sick that day.
I was straight about having feelings for her from day one (she thought I was just kidding for a while), her sibling figured I liked her before she did sef. Like I said, persistence. I kept reaffirming my feelings till she said it back that she liked me too one day.
Aww. What now went wrong?
*Lydia sniffs*
Dena: Ah, oya sorry.
Lydia: We definitely loved each other, We were not perfect but we were up there. but we have very different dynamics, different sexualities too. And there was the fact that she wouldn’t be able to end up with me in the future, not because she didn’t want to, but due to other reasons, beyond any of our control.
So you had to end things?
She did, but it was a discussion we had had in the past and something we both knew had to happen to save us more pain.
So it wasn’t particularly breakfast then…?
No, but it still hurt.
*sniffs again*
Dena: Oya oya, drink malt.
BSN: 004
Server: Femi
Served: Yimi
Estimated Breakfast Time: About two years ago
Breakfast Damage: 10/10
I am Yimi, I am a bitter and wicked single woman that hates on everyone in a relationship and people that eat egg and noodles( how do you people even eat that egg)
The color of my gele is Blue and it represents my zodiac sign, I am an Aquarius so the color of the sea?
I used to be one of those hopeless romantics but not anymore( it’s a lie sha)
Alright Yimi. Where did you meet Femi? What was the first meeting like?
I met him on a group chat. It was so random because it was just pure bants on the group chat until we started talking in the dm. We spoke for 2 hours one time and everything he said on the call was a lie.
Ah-
He was a liar from the beginning?
I didn’t know it was a lie then, but I found out later. Did that stop me from dating him? NO. To think I hate liars so much. Will I call it curiosity? Something made me continue. I wanted to see how long he would go..
I see. How did you start dating?
My three years long distance relationship ended late 2021 and there was this guy that liked me before it ended
Let’s call him T. I started dating T after the three year relationship ended. Not immediately, but I dated him. I didn’t really like him but he was very sweet. He wanted us to see every night.
He was an aspiring tech bro in school and an engineering student so he was more busy than I was but he would still find time to see me but I had only been in long distance relationships before then, so it was hard for me to adapt to it. I got irritated sometimes too.
Wait, this was all before you started dating Femi, abi? You met T before Femi, and T was very good to you. He used to make time to see you and all that, how did Femi now enter it? Abi what went wrong?
I started liking Femi, so I felt it was unfair to keep leading T on. I did everything to make us break up, Femi gave me so much attention.
Wait wait, this story don dey confuse me. T liked you very much, and he put effort into your relationship, but you started liking Femi?
Yes
Dena: Yimi o
Yimi: I was young and foolish. Femi lied to me that he liked me too. Everything he did was very cute
Dena: His name is Femi! That’s a huge Red flag on its own.
Yimi: The Red flag was looking like Pink.
Dena: Abi you were color blind?
Yimi: Maybe..
So how did you break up with T?
I told him on my birthday I was sorry for leading him on, I think I told him I was not ready to be in a relationship.
Dena: God abeg o. When did you now start dating Femi?
Yimi: After I broke up with T. It was so sweet at first, I felt so special, and I was finally dating someone I really liked.
How did it go wrong?
He started leaving my messages unread. I would beg him to reply me and all..
Dena: Beg?? Yimi, you begged a man?
Yimi: I thought I did something wrong for him not to reply nau, I liked him so much, omo. He lied he was studying physiotherapy or something in Medilag, an extension of my school.
Dena: But you still stayed, skrimss.
Yimi: Yes, I was giving him grace.
Dena: May that kind of love never locate us again.
Yimi: Amen! I went to his house from my house in Ogun state during lockdown to see him. I got to the door, knocked and his mom responded asking who it was. She didn’t reply after I said Yimi and I kept on calling him. He didn’t pick my call. I left, only for him to tell me his mom told him to call me to come back. I met his mom on my way back because she was going to the market she greeted me and asked me few questions sha.
I went there to settle whatever it is we had going on but I couldn’t even speak because he made me feel good with his mouth .Words ooo, not romance.
I went to my house and he kept on doing the same thing. I couldn’t even tell anyone because my friend didn’t want me to leave T. Dating him caused a rift between my friend and I because she knew him too.
He lied about a lot of things, like how his family friend came to stay over at their place and was sleeping in his room. A girl his age. He also told me he had covid. My mom and sister still talk about it till today, omo.
It ended sha. I was hurt and broken. It hurt so much because I broke someone’s heart for him, That was how I entered hoe phase for like a year.
Dena: I’m so sorry about that, my love.
Do you think you'd be open to a new relationship anytime soon?
I honestly don’t know. I was in a relationship this time last year and it only lasted 2 months. That heartbreak made it hard to believe my partner then even though we had other serious issues
I really want to find myself again and maybe then will I be open to a new relationship. If I find someone with sense now, I will go for it. I will most likely get heartbroken before the relationship even starts, but we’ll see.
Dena: I hope you find that person soon. I’ll be rooting for you. Oya, eat your amala. You have tried today.
When I got home, I played the stories over and over again, and I kept sighing. If you’re going through any heartbreak right now, I hope you get over it soon. It will be hard, but you’ll find a way. Get new hobbies, read books, write, go out with your friends (women hangouts will heal you fr) buy plenty nice things for yourself, do a room makeover, anything at all. You’ll get there. If you have any tips about getting over heartbreaks, let me know in the comments section. Also, if you enjoyed this, don’t forget to like, comment, share and subscribe to the newsletter. Thank youu!
There you have it. Big ups to Dena for another wonderful interview session, shout out to all the Siren women for their constant support and participation in our interview sessions. Thank you all so much. Let us know if you enjoyed this and if you’d like to see more of it in the comments section. Remember to invite your girlfriends, the more the merrier!
Love is wicked o. Also, men are spawns of Satan. Chaii
men are scum sha, women too but men take the whole cake and the icing.