"Your enemies will wake up before you"

Kunmi used to set alarm for them.

“The way you sleep ehn, may your enemies not wake up before you.”

That's what Kunmi, my old friend, used to say each time she saw me sleeping. And she was a fucking bastard. 

Hello, my wonderful newsletter audience. If you're new here, hi. My name is Najwa, and I write whatever goes on in my head, fictional or not. Do well to subscribe to my newsletter so you'll get notified when I send out new ones.

If you're a returning subscriber, no hi for you today because- nothing, actually. Just no hi for you today. 

We all know that the economy is hard, eggroll is now 800 naira (yes, I say this often because it use to pain me.) Everything is expensive. Sometimes, even standing under the hot sun feels like preparing for a bill that's coming.

So, I like to sleep. Not just because it's free, but because when I'm asleep, I'm at peace. Nobody is telling me to transfer any foolish 1k to any opay account,  I'm not buying any 800 naira eggroll (sometimes I eat eggroll in my sleep, but it's sha free) and nobody is bringing mic near me to ask me any foolish question.

“The way you sleep ehn, one day your enemies will wake up before you.” That's what Kunmi, my old friend, used to say each time she saw me sleeping. And she was a fucking bastard. 

Kunmi was my roomate, and everytime she saw me sleeping, she would shake her head and saw “the way you sleep ehn, may your enemies not wake up before you.” At first, I used to laugh. Kunmi liked to run her mouth, and she always had something to say. If I woke up early, she'd say, “ahahn where are you rushing to?” If i slept in, she'd say, “at this rate, you will wake up in another administration.” It was funny- until it wasn't. 

What's her own with my enemies? Let them wake up before me, do they not see the price of eggroll? Even common, ordinary water is now expensive. If my enemies like, let then wake up and do jumping jacks. In fact, let them not sleep at all, that is not my business, and it was definitely not Kunmi’s business either. Me, I will rest.

Things started getting weird when somehow, the things I only told Kunmi started making their way into everybody's mouths. I'd walk into a room, and conversations would shift. People I barely spoke to started making side comments. I'd tell Kunmi, “this boy said he likes me,” and the very next day, the boy would ghost me. Ahahn? What's going on? 

I don't know why it didn't occur to me to stop moving with Kunmi until I told her something very personal, a family issue, and everybody and their daddy knew about it the next day. 

My enemies were not the problem, it was Kunmi that was waking them up. I moved out of the room two weeks later, and I barely see Kunmi around anymore. I like my business inside my chest. 

---

It is currently 3:38, and I'm tired. Today isn't as bad as yesterday, the weather is a bit cool and everywhere is quiet (still send help). This is day 5 of the 12 days of newsletters challenge, and we're still going strong.💪🏽