You are not the target audience.

God will punish you.

It all started when you people started calling all-back “cornrows.” 

Hello, my wonderful newsletter audience. 

If you're new here, hi. My name is Najwa, and I write whatever goes on in my head. Fictional or not. Do well to subscribe to my newsletter, so you'll get notified when I send out new ones.

If you're a returning subscriber, no hi for you today because I am angry. I'm very, very angry! 

So this morning, I was bored. When I'm bored, I like to window shop (checking online shopping websites and adding things I can't afford to my cart.) This is usually not a problem because usually, I do it on aliexpress or shein, I still have small hope on those websites.

Sometimes, I even find things I can afford. But today, i don't know who sent me to open one foolish link I saw on Twitter. Tell me why I opened this link, and I saw “Aduke dress” for 250k???? Who is Aduke, and why is her dress 250k? Mind you, this Aduke dress is just a short body con dress. 

And then I saw the “you're not the target audience” comments, I screamed. If I'm not the target audience, then why did you market your brand to reach my side? You put “for Nigerians, by Nigerians” and you're selling in dollars.

Ah, no. You must crumble. 

Nigeria is too poor for the level of classism that is in this country, but if I talk, they will say I don't have money. I mean, I don't - but like.. Okay, I'll just shut up.

Let's even leave Aduke and Adunni dress, why did I buy meat pie yesterday, and one single meat was not inside? Just foolish nonsense potato and carrot. Must I spend 3k before I'll eat meat inside MEATpie??? Under my dictatorship, after you people that like beans and the ones that like yam, people that sell MEATpie without meat will be thrown in jail. 

It's currently 5:37, and my head wants to blow. Today's fast isn't as bad as yesterday's own (it’s a lie, I want to faint), and we're still going strong. 

This is day 2 of my 12 days of newsletters challenge, consistent queen, who this?? 

Anyway, send my newsletter to all your friends and family.

And if you like, don’t subscribe. I'll jail you.