It's womens' day.
And I am angry.
Being a woman in Nigeria is like working a job where the requirements keep changing. The dress code is strict, but also “free,” and the benefits package includes unsolicited advice from strangers. Nobody gave us an orientation manual, but somehow, you’re expected to know what to do. Walk confidently, but not too confidently. Be independent, but not too independent. Love yourself, but remember to be humble. You have to be soft and delicate, but be strong a resilient-
The list goes on and on, the way society constantly shifts the goalpost for womanhood, you’d think women are clay. Or bricks.
Hello, my wonderful newsletter audience. If you’re new here, hi. Welcome to Giggles and Gele, a sub-section of my newsletter, The Perks of Being Najwa. This space is for women, so if you’re a man, get out of here.
From the moment we take our first breaths, society starts whispering in our ears. Sometimes it’s soft, like a suggestion. At first, it’s soft- like a suggestion. Other times, it’s a megaphone in your face. It might not even come from your family, it could be slammed in your face on the streets of Twitter. But the message is always the same: dim your light.
In women’s history month, you’re reminded of how little the Nigerian government cares about women’s rights.
For the past couple of days, I’ve been angry. Very angry. We’ll set the scene. Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan accused Senator Godswill Akpabio for sexual harassment, abuse of office, and malicious obstruction of her legislative functions. In her petition against him, she gave the details of the sexual harassment. In a working country, Akpabio would be asked to step down for proper investigation, but in Nigeria, a safe space for misogynists, abusers and enablers, Senator Natasha was suspended. For six months. Mind you, there was no trial or fair hearing.
Guess what? Mr Cletus Obun went on TV to say that women might be subjected to a mental stability test in order to qualify as a seneator, and that he commends the Senate for taking action and having a fitting closure to the “drama”
While that is sad enough on its own, you would expect the other women in the senate to show Natasha their support, but they came for Natasha’s head instead. Even the first lady said something about women should not be cheap enough for men to harass. Some women even organised a “protest” to walk and show their support for Akpabio. Oh, and this isn’t the first time Akpabio would be accused of sexual harassment, but okay.
You know what’s crazy in all this? the same senate that suspended Natasha for speaking out has organised an event for the International Women’s Day, and guess who the chief host is? Godswill Akpabio. This country is such a sick joke, and I hate it here. I hate it so much.
In all this, I hope you people have stopped your “i am not a feminist, but I support women’s rights.” Being a Nigerian woman should be enough to radicalise you, this is happening to a woman in power, and that is why it has traction.
Think about all the nameless girls that this has happened to without any hope for justice. But because “nigerian feminists don’t know what feminism really is,” you’re there coddling the patriarchy. You that you know what feminism really is, why are you not doing it? '‘twitter feminists are just angry” you, why are you not angry? Look around you, look at the way women are treated and talked about in this country, and tell me why you’re not angry.
You have been conditioned to always serve men, they’re the head and you’re the neck. Behind every successful man is a woman, men are nothing without women, women are naturally intelligent, there is true power in submission, they’re this, they’re that and you fail to see how that is benevolent misogyny.
You let them package misogyny in a fancy ribbon, and you eat it tf up every time. You let them put the pressure that is the patriarchy on you, without any of the benefits, but you think it’s by “i’m not a feminist, but I support women’s rights.” If you don’t leave my front immediately.
So yes, happy women’s day. Happy women’s day to the feminist women, the “badly behaved” women, the ones who put themselves out there to fight for the rights of women, no matter how “small” the gesture is, the angry “twitter” feminists. I hope you all have a good day today, and tomorrow, and the one after tomorrow. The rest of you can go and collect your celebration from the patriarchy.
