I'm giving up on love.

Me that I don't know how to dance.

Hello, my wonderful newsletter audience. Today, I bring you the story of Jide and his “little kink”

You know how you'll just be sitting on your own, and one of your stupid friends will now tell you they know one fine man that is single, and you that just left Ibrahim and his rubbish family, your heartbeat will do gbim gbim. You will think you have found love, and you will be happy. You will not know that it's a mad man you're going to meet.

When I met the man Jumoke told me about, I felt it in my bones that I had finally met the love of my life. My final bus stop, so I went all out. I covered my ori esin with fine scarf and dressed up.

Jide: What is that on your head?

Me: Don't worry about it, it's just my aesthetic (#Oriesincore)

Jide: Oh, I like mysterious girls

Me: *tries to giggle but remembers how I sound like hyena when I laugh*

Don't worry guys, I'm working on it.

Jide: I think we need to be more proud of our culture, you know? We need to bring back some traditional acts.

When he said that, I didn't know what to say first because I just wanted to eat the fine coconut rice in front of me.

Jide: I usually don't say this on my first dates, but you seem like a very chill person, so i think it's fine if I share my little kink with you.

Kink bawo? Shey kinky twists?

Me: Oh, what's that?

Jide: So um.. I like it when my girls are cultural, you know? It turns me on.

*Laughs in Ankara lingerie.*

My wonderful newsletter audience, that was when I knew. It has to he somebody from my village. It just has to be.

Me: So like this now, before we can do anything, I should first dance Bata abi atilogwu?

Jide: Bata is actually sexy. I'll even join if you want.

My newsletter audience, I think it's safe to say that love is not for me. I'm now going to focus on my studies and marry my books. I have suffered enough. Till next time, bye kizzes luv u.

P.S: to the person that stole my money, God will punish you.😭