I watched Ada Omo Daddy.

And Ada is a foolish girl.

Yes, she’s a fool.

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I usually don’t watch movies like Ada Omo Daddy, but my friend (the way I always mention my friends, you’d think I have a lot) was watching it and I stayed. You know that pose you hit when your mother’s African Magic Yoruba movie starts to hit? Yes, that’s how I watched Ada Omo Daddy. And here’s what I have to say: Ada is a fool.

Let me set the scene for you people. Picture a very rich and happy Nigerian family. Big, beautiful mansion, fine daddy, beautiful mommy, and their three children- two girls and a boy. One of them is Perosola (Ada), but I can’t remember the names of the brother and the sister, so we’ll call the brother Tade, and we’ll call the sister Bolu.

I’m sure you’re wondering, how come Perosola is Perosola, but she’s also Ada? (if you weren’t wondering before, then you weren’t paying attention. Start wondering now) but relax, we’ll get there.

Bolu (Pero’s sister) is a social media influencer that’s always livestreaming her business. Bolu Cenat. I’m so funny bro-

Sha, Bolu Cenat is always live, from her normal skincare influencer kini, to her family’s breakfast. And so when Pero’s boyfriend proposes, she says yes, and she goes home, happy and engaged.

Normal nigerian family protocol, Pero’s mother starts to pray for her daughter, and everybody is happy and proud of Pero. Then Bolu shows up with her iphone to livestream it again. At this point, I was already pissed on behalf of all of them, because is it everything that you’ll put online?

Keep that scene in your mind, fine house, happy Pero, Bolu with her camera and Tade just there with mumu smile. Now, somewhere in Okitipupa, there’s a young girl that enjoys watching Bolu’s livestreams to the point where it’s almost obsessive. One day, her father, Ifeanyi decides that enough is enough, and he wants to see what she’s always watching. The moment he collects the phone and he sees Pero’s face, his demeanour changes. Ahahn? Is that not Ada???

Fastforward that scene a little, and you’ll see Pero’s mother on a phone call, agitated. We don’t know who she’s talking to, but she tells the person to “koshi danu!” And then she says “abi werey leleyi ni?”

N.B: You’ll come to find out that she was talking to Ifeanyi, and that he’s actually a werey.

Moving on, Pero is at work when she gets a phone call from a random phone number, she picks up the call, and it’s Ifeanyi telling her that he’s her biological father, and that her actual name is Ada. She tells him to get off her phone, obviously, and that he’s a foolish scammer. Before hanging up, Ifeanyi tells her to ask her mother and her aunt, Motun.

Okay wait, let’s go over the names once again

• Pero- Ada

• Bolu- Pero’s sister

• Tunde- Pero’s brother

• Ifeanyi- Pero’s alleged biological father

• Motun- Pero’s aunt.

As I was saying, Pero leaves work immediately after Ifeanyi’s disturbing call, and she meets up with her mother and Motun. There, they convince her that Ifeanyi is a foolish scammer, and that she should forget about it, and then they laugh and do some shopping.

Ifeanyi notices that his tactic didn’t work, so he decides to double down and send Pero some of her baby pictures. Armed with those pictures, Pero goes back home to confront her mother again. Her mother tries to explain that she lied to protect her, and she only did it out of love, but Pero was NOT having it.

Then her mother decides to give her the full details. She tells Ada how she met Ifeanyi at NYSC camp, and how she got pregnant. At first, Ifeanyi yelled at her and asked her how she got pregnant, and I first vex. Wdym how is she pregnant? When you were doing genital meet and greet, you didn’t know?

Fast forward a little bit, and Pero’s mother was able to convince Ifeanyi to meet her parents, and they got married. Now, as expected, Ifeanyi was horrible to her. Not only was he actively cheating on Pero’s mother, but he was also a deadbeat.

One night, Pero was convulsing, and her mother turned to her husband for help. He called her a goat and took one baddie inside, and then he threw Pero (who was three months old at the time) and her mother out.

Ifeanyi while Pero’s mother was stressing over Pero:

Shebi after hearing all that, you’d think Pero would join her mother and tell Ifeanyi to koshi danu, but no. She asked to meet him in private, so she could “get to know him.” And that was when I knew that Pero (abi Ada) is a fokeen idiot.

Why would you want to “get to know” your deadbeat father who threw you and your mother out when you were three months old, when you have a rich, fine daddy that raised you like his own daughter? Someone that reached out to you after seeing that you’ve made it online? How convenient.

They sha met up, and he used the most cliche deadbeat line.

“I was young and stupid.” Then he proceeded to tell her how he remarried after Ada’s mother “left.” Mind you, HE CHASED HER OUT. And his second wife left him too, and that he had a son and he died earlier that year. Okay, that’s sad and he should sorry, but Ada became buddy buddy with him. Next thing, she’s talking about inviting him to her wedding. Like a fool!

Sha fast forward again, and Ada’s mother finds out that Ada has been going behind her back to do best friends in the world with her deadbeat father, and she gets angry. Rightly so. They sha had a fight and Ada left the house. After some hours, everybody gets worried and they start looking for her. Motun sha went to use police to carry Ifeanyi. I was so happy.

Then Ada’s father (the one that raised her) now went to question Ifeanyi, then Ifeanyi had the guts to say “she’s not your daughter, she’s mine.”

Ada’s father gagged him sha, and he asked Ifeanyi where he was when Ada took her first steps, and where he was when she graduated from primary school, then Ifeanyi started crying like egbere. I wanted to enter the screen and bite his bald head, because why the tears?

Sha fast forward again, and Ada came back home. Apparently, she went to an hotel because she needed to clear her head. Then she sha did her wedding, and both fathers were present. Rubbish. Me i’m not a fan of letting deadbeats reap where they did not sow, i’m not a fan at all.

Ifeanyi sha called Ada’s mother aside, and he knelt down to apologise to her. I thought she would step on his bald head and do the needful, but she accepted his apology. Ew. Then they went back inside to dance, and daiz the end. In fact, everybody in that movie pissed me off, and i’m still angry.

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It’s currently 11:27, and i’m rushing to complete this newsletter before 12.

My consistency streak must not be broken, I refuse to become a laughing stock for my enemies. This newsletter is long, and it most likely has one million typos (that you must ignore) but I couldn’t think of anything else to write today. This horrible heat has done nonsense and ingredients to my brain. Anyway, make sure you send my newsletter to your friends and family.