I had a creative block.

And it started when I forgot my password.

Feb 28, 2025

Hello, my wonderful newsletter audience.

*insert walk of shame*

My creative block started shortly after I sent out my last newsletter, and that was May 26, 2024. I wrote that newsletter on a toilet seat, and I promised to be consistent because, before that newsletter, the last one I sent out was on April 23, 2024. In the May 26 newsletter, I did a walk of shame and promised to be consistent. The plan was to write one or two newsletters on weekends, and send them out over the week, but that would take out the authenticity I try as much as possible to maintain in my newsletters, so I didn’t do that. And then I forgot my password.

Hi. I’m Najwa, and I write whatever goes on in my head, fictional or not. If you’re new here, welcome, do well to subscribe to my newsletter so you get notified when I send out new ones.

If you’re a returning subscriber, well- this is awkward, but i can explain! I had the biggest creative block after I lost my password (nobody should ask me how that happened) and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t write anything. Everyday, i beat myself up for it, but I still couldn’t do it. I would rant to my friends about how much I have missed writing, and they would all tell me that it’s okay to take a break once in a while, and maybe that was what I needed.

I didn’t know how to explain that to myself, and so I would open my notes app and think of something to write. I never got anything out of it though, and I would close it after a few minutes. Watching myself consistently “fail” at something I’ve always been good at made me hate myself, and so I stopped trying to write- and that was my mistake.

This time around, i’m not promising to be consistent. I want to be, but I do not want to make my writing feel like a chore again. So for the one millionth time in this newsletter, hello my wonderful newsletter audience. It’s late, but happy new year, and happy Valentine’s day (to single people, and single people alone. If you have babe, rain will carry you babe away)

ON TODAY’S NEWSLETTER: HOW 2025 HAS BEEN SO FAR, MTN AND THEIR SUDDEN BURST OF MADNESS, ANNUAL VALENTINE’S DAY HATE SESSION, IBRAHIM AND HIS FAMILY, BOOKS AND ORISIRISI.

2025 has been.. well, 2025.

You know that one newsletter where i mentioned those people that will see you walking on your own jeje, they’ll now carry mic to your front to ask you one foolish and bastard question? That was how my 2025 started. I was tired, I was so done with everybody and their daddy, and I wanted 2024 to be over already (by the way, what happened in 2024 must never repeat itself again) sha, I was going to buy myself a sweet treat, and then this random huncle (read that with a yoruba accent) came out of nowhere with his mic to ask me one mumu question. I didn’t even bother to wait, I just ignored him and kept going.

Now that I think about it, what if he was one of those people that will say if I don’t say anything for two minutes, he’ll give me 5 billion?

Anyway, I got my sweet treat, and I decided to talk a walk and do some self reflection. Every year, I make vision boards and write out goals/tasks that I hope to achieve, and at the end of the year, I go over it and see how much I was able to do. When I checked the vision board I made at the beginning of last year, I laughed. Not because it was funny, but because I barely got anything done. I didn’t know how to feel, I felt like I barely achieved anything, and I beat myself up for it.

The number of subscribers I thought I would have by the end of 2024 wasn’t what I had, and I knew it was mostly due to my inactivity, and that made me feel worse. I sat in silence and berated myself, and then MTN chose that time to send me a “you have 50mb remaining” text. I thought I was going to lose it, I couldn’t catch a break.

My friend, Tito called me and I told her everything that was on my mind. Tito and I talked for hours and she said “we all worry so much about a future we might not even exist in.” She let me know that while it’s good to evaluate your decisions and go back to the goals that you set for yourself to see how far you’ve come, it’s also important to give yourself the grace that you give others. So what if I did not have 5k subscribers? I didn’t save as much as I wanted to? Okay, then what?

After my conversation with Tito, I didn’t feel like a failure anymore. I even smiled to myself and gave myself credit for the goals I was able to achieve. Then MTN sent me a new year text, and I just had to swear for them.

Not a lot has happened this year, it’s just… There. School is after my life, but my God does not wear flip flops. This year, i’m trying to be kinder to myself, to strengthen my friendships because at the end of the day, we all need a Tito or two in our lives. And this year, nobody should near me with any foolish mic to ask me any question (unless it’ll come with money.) And I know I said the same thing in 2024, but this is the year that I will shock all of you and post my babe. Fear my return.

WHEN I CATCH MTN, ONLY GOD WILL BE ABLE TO REMOVE MY TEETH FROM THEIR SCALP.

We all know that this economy is hard, eggroll is now 800 naira. But it is one thing to take something that used to be common ordinary 2k (2k is not even common and ordinary anymore) to 2.5k, or even 3k, and it is another thing entirely to take the price of data from 2k to 6k. That’s simply diabolical, and I believe MTN is trying to kill us all. There is no other explanation. Now we’ve all turned to data analysts and pilots.

If you people know any code that can give me like 1TB for 100 naira, please let me know.

YOU’RE DOING RELATIONSHIP? IN THIS FOKEEN ECONOMY? YOU EVEN STILL DID VALENTINE’S DAY? THEY SUPPOSE TO JAIL ALL OF YOU.

Instead of all us to gather in front of Aso Rock and be wailing on Valentine’s day, you people were doing love. Yes, Valentine has passed, and so fokeen what? How will people take us serious when we say we don’t have money? You people were buying cars and flowers (it’s even plastic) and doing billboard for each other, blushing and smiling like a mumu. Rain will fall and carry all of you away. Until i’m part of the people that they’ll call on Valentine’s day, I will hate all of you from the bottom of my heart. 2gb is no longer 500 naira, but you’re doing Valentine’s day. Ko fokeen!

I HAVE LEFT IBRAHIM, AND I STOLE HIS TAXI BEFORE I LEFT.

If you’re new here and you don’t know Ibrahim, he’s the foolish man that married His daddy has mouth odor, and his mommy use to smell like goat. Why did I now marry him? That is not your business.

I know that every time I come here and I tell you guys that I have left Ibrahim, I always come back like two days later to say that I have gone back to him, but this time around, my decision is final. Nobody should ask me for details, just know that I have left Ibrahim and his foolish family. If your daddy (or your mommy) is looking for iyawo kekere, please send them my Opay. They will get my number from it.

BOOKS AND ORISIRISI: BOOKS.

This year, i’m not setting any reading goal for myself. I’ve been recycling the same reading goal since 2023 anyway. This year, I will simply read whatever I want. I had to read Tomorrow I Become A Woman by Aiwanose Odafen again because of a book club, and it still fills me with so much anger. Gozie is still my biggest opp and i’m still shooting Mama on sight.

I have read Yellowface by RF Kuang, and it’s easily one of my first five-star reads this year. My current read is On Black Sisters’ Street by Chika Unigwe , it’s kind of slow paced at the moment, but it has potential to be a good read.

Now, it’s a well established fact that I don’t have money, but I have never felt the sharp, painful sting of poverty as much as I did when I saw my mates holding copies of Dream Count, a new book by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Mind you, the book hasn’t even been officially dropped yet. Once again, you people have betrayed me, but you will not see my downfall.

All of you went to pre-order the book, and you’re now flaunting it everywhere. Even my friend (now ex-friend) Amina, has collected her own. Just know that each time I see you people, I use to roll my eyes and hiss. That book will fall inside water and tear, until I buy my own.

BOOKS AND ORISIRISI: ORISIRISI.

I finished Game of Thrones, and i’m so angry! What was that ending?????? I have beef with every single person that contributed to that ending. It’s on sight.
Hope you people have left body odor in 2025? Even if it’s scent leaf that you can afford, please buy it and stop robbing us of our oxygen rights.
This is the year that i’ll do giveaway for my wonderful newsletter audience, if you like, don’t subscribe.
This is a new year, wash your bonnet plis.
Rain will still carry you and your babe away.
Can somebody surprise me with pashmina scarves and books? I’ll act surprised, i’ll even faint if you want.
Subscribe to my newsletter and send it to all your friends, send it to your family GC too.
Share
This year, be kind to yourself. Make sure you take breaks and relax, go out with your friends, eat what you want and be happy. Oh, you don’t have money? Still enjoy yourself😔✋🏾
Anyway, if you’re like me and you’re having a creative block, don’t rush it. You’re going to be fine. Thank you for reading my newsletter to the end, bye!
Thanks for reading about my creative block and all the other serenren. Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support me so I can leave the trenches.