I for don do money ritual.

But that baba doesn't know work.

And I should have known when I saw AC in his shrine.

Hello, my wonderful newsletter audience, today, my head is elongating, yes,my head is getting longer. Literally.

Let me start from the beginning. Remember Bisi? That my hookup friend? She's still doing hookup o, and it's really working for her, she sent me 100k a few days ago, and that made me make my final decision. Money ritual is the way. I made some findings, and I found one baba. I was already making plans, my vacation to Dubai, the Gucci bags I'll buy, Dior suits, everything. But the one that sweet me pass was the thought of singing inside Tesla. All of them are not ready.

So I picked a date, and I went to baba's place. When I entered, I saw AC. Full AC o. But I didn't say anything, maybe those dieties use to sweat. I sha sat down, and baba came out. When he asked about my life story, and I told him everything, baba shed a few tears. I've really been through a lot.

When we finished, baba said I'd have to do sacrifice. He told me to buy black and white goat, and you guys know me, I quickly went to collect loan and I bought goat sharp sharp. Sacrifice day came, and that was when baba told me I'll carry sacrifice myself.

Baba: Najwa, you'll have to carry this sacrifice yourself.

Me: Can't we use dispatch rider?

Baba: *glares at me.* Will they do the incantations I'll give you?

Me: We'll use voice note.

Baba: How will the gods see your face?

Me: Video call.

Baba: Omo yi, sho ya werey ni?

Me: No vex

Baba: Why are you looking at me like that?

Me: The goat meat you're cooking is smelling nice.

Baba: Let me tell you something, I've mixed something else with that neat, if you eat it, you'll turn to horse, Najwa, do you hear me?

Me: Okay baba.

I sha carried the sacrifice. The goat meat was really smelling nice, but I didn't eat it, because baba said I should not eat it. Halfway to the sacrifice place, I say let me rest a little, my wonderful audience, I swear, I don't know how meat entered my mouth, all I know is I was suddenly swallowing meat and licking my fingers.

When I saw that I already ate like five, I decided to not be rude, I mean, how will I carry meat that I've eaten to gods place? I now ate everything. I didn't go back to baba's place so that he won't think I'm a glutton, so I went back to my house and slept. Like a baby.

The issue now, is that since I woke up, I've been drinking water like a horse, that's when what baba said came back to my mind, I ran to my mirror to check and-

Ye!

Ye!

Wetin dey occur?

My head almost reach the top of my mirror, honestly. I'm not even exaggerating. I think I'm becoming a horse, guys..😭

The purpose of this newsletter is to plead. In case you see horse that resembles me, just take me to Dubai, so that I can be like all those aesthetic horses that will be drinking water gracefully, if you take me to one park and people want to be climbing me, I'll open my bumbum up and you'll fall down and break your head.

That's all of today. *Neighs*

Ah, fuck.