Hustle Chronicles: Najwa the food vendor.

This Ibrahim is a bad influence.

Hello, my wonderful newsletter audience, today, I'm here to report Ibrahim, because he's the one that cause see finish for me.😔

So, you guys know that I use to borrow a lot of loan money, and it's not that I use to spend money anyhow or anything, it's just that this country is hard.

So last week, all the loan people started calling me up and down because of common, ordinary small money, as if it's more than a couple of millions. They were really blowing up my handset with messages, and as a smart babe, I decided to find a solution, it was obviously not my husband, since it's only eba that he knows, and that was when I decided to use my cooking talent. Nobody cooks like me, forgerrit.

I came up with different strategies, and after a lot of brainstorming, I came up with two major sources of capital.

Before I continue, I want you guys to know that daddy Ibrahim is very sick, and he'll soon die, I give him ten days.. That was why I decided to sell his house, I stole the documents, and found someone to buy the uncompleted thing, but the man said he wouldn't be moving in till next month, by my calculations, I would've made a lot of money, and I'd use it to get myself something nice, then there was one of Mommy Ibrahim's chord lace, I decided to sell it too, just that I had to wash it like seven times because of her he-goat smell.

After that, I got my capital and I used it to buy new pot, I'm a genius, I know.

After three days, I got my first customer, Anty Nike. She ordered rice and goat meat stew, and sharp sharp, I brought out my new pot and started cooking. It's all over. I was getting ready to pack the food when Ibrahim entered, with his kwashiorkor head.

Ibrahim: This your rice smells nice.

Me: When it's not your mommy that I cooked.

Ibrahim: This your ori esin is giving you liver.

Me: Ibrahim, why are you poor?

Ibrahim: Sho gbadun?

Me: No vex.

I was about to put the rice in nylon, that's how Ibrahim said “shey you'll not taste it?” I was going to ignore him, but you guys know it's not good to disobey your husband, and I decided to eat one spoon, just to make sure the salt was not too much or anything.

Ibrahim: Gimme small nau.

Me: Shebi you were insulting my ori esin?

Ibrahim: but baby you know you make me hor-neigh.

Me before I realized he was still insulting my head:

I sha gave him small, but Ibrahim had Pako mouth, only one spoon, and half of the food was gone.

Ibrahim: You too, eat another one. This your rice is very sweet. It's reminding me of my mummy.

Me: Maybe because I cooked goat meat stew.

Ibrahim: What's that supposed to mean?

Me: Nothing. Sorry.

Next thing, I looked down, and there was nothing in the plate. Fok! Ibrahim ti koba mi.

As if on cue, Anty Nike called me.

Anty Nike: Hello, it's been four hours, you said my food would be delivered within two hours, what's going on?

Me: Let me be honest with you, Anty, my husband has finished the food.

Ibrahim: We ate it together o.

Anty Nike: What's this rubbish? I ordered food and you're telling me this rubbish

Ibrahim: Tell her that she ordered food for thoughts.

Me: *glares at him*

Anty Nike: I want a refund. How will I pay 7k for food and you'll be telling me this rubbish?

Me: Ah, that 7k is not possible o

Anty Nike: So what will happen now? Is this a joke?

Me: I'll manage and send 1k, maybe you'll buy egg roll and kunu.

Anty Nike: Are you insane?

Me: Because of 7k?

Ibrahim: Is she not a baddie?

Me: She doesn't have money, she's just a fine girl.

And we cut the call. Personally, I think she's just a thief. I mean, I even offered to give her 1k, shey if she buys kunu and egg roll, her stomach won't be full? I think we all can agree that it wasn't my fault.

In conclusion, in case you want to do party, let me know, I'll provide for you. It's only 7k that I've gotten, before loan people come and carry me.

Bye, kizzes luv u.