Hustle chronicles: Najwa the hookup babe.

I'm going to bleach my bumbum.

If you know me well, then you know that I have been toying with the idea of this hookup thing for a while now, because this sapa lifestyle does not suit me. Bisi, my friend, has been into it since last year, and she has been balling since then. Bisi gave me 50k “just because I like your vibe” yesterday, and that's when I knew… Hookup is the way.

Bisi was very happy when I told her about my decision, but she said I must first have clear skin if I want to be getting big big clients, I said no problem, I'll start working on it and get back to her, then I started looking for skincare plug. That's when I came across Balablu skin. Shebi if I have sense, when I saw complete skincare kit for 1k, and the sunscreen was feeling like corn paste mixed with garri, i would've ran? But that's one thing about me, I don't have sense.

That's how I started doing my balablu skincare routine.. After one week, my skin was glowing and shining as if I use akara oil as body cream, ah! It's over for them. I went back to bisi and she was surprised, she asked me what my skincare routine was and I told her I use Paris skincare products, as the soft girl I am.

The only side effect i was having with balablu was that it was making my bumbum black, and the rest of my body was white, but I already took my poster colour along, so I'd paint it when I get my client. Bisi told me she already had someone that wanted to meet me, so for the rest of that week, I ate pineapples, slept early, opened my bumbum to hot water to get rid of any.. congestions, and finally, the day I'd be meeting my first client came, i shaved and shaved my bumbum, black as it was, then I was ready to meet my first client.

I went to Bisi's House feeling very proud of myself, so me too I'll soon be singing buga inside Mercedes and Range Rover? What God cannot do truly doesn't exist. Bisi did makeup for me, she fixed eyelashes and nails too, but when she gave me hookup cloth to wear, I couldn't take it. Bisi thought i was being shy, but I just didn't want her to see my black yansh.

She took me to one big house, and I kept smiling because she told me those guys like it when their girls are smiling.

Me: smiles..

Bisi: stop it, you're doing like hyena.

We sha entered the house and it had long corridors and passageways, like an hotel, and i could hear the tatata as I passed some of the doors. One particular girl kept shouting and saying she was going to die, but she was still saying “don't stop.”

We finally got to room 406, and Bisi stopped there and told me to go in, that my client was waiting there. I took in a deep breath and went it, silently praying that i didn't forget my poster colour. I went in, and… Ye! Ye!

Shey this one for me? I looked at my small hands and looked up again at the man. This one wants to break my back and he's smiling at me?

Uncle: come here baby, come and hold me

Me: My hands are small

Uncle: You'll use two hands

Me: Because I'm pounding yam?

Long story short, uncle pulled me and tore the lace pants that I went to rent, then he saw my yansh

Uncle please, I can explain! But uncle was already shoutimg. This uncle wants to spoil market for me. Balablu finally put me in trouble.

Before uncle could shout again and let everybody know that my bumbum is black, I pack my lace pants and ran out, I won't let my village people win this one.

Anyways, that was how my first day went, the main purpose of this newsletter today is to beg for bleaching cream recommendations. Please, help a sister.😔